“Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm.”
Ralph Archbold quotes
“Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question”.
Charm and Charisma are more similar than different from each other in their attributes. Both talk about the personality of some one; the enthusiasm of someone, the care that some one give to the others, the comfort with which they make others to feel etc.
Recently, I had attended a function at a friend’s place; as soon as I had entered, I had noticed the host amongst the sea of other faces. In a way, no one could escape noticing her; she was floating around the party, exchanging pleasantries with people, her eyes intent on the ones with whom she was talking to, bending over a toddler hugging him with dancing eyes; she was in general behaving like a perfect host that she was, may be better!
She was not beautiful in the strict sense of the word. But something about her was so charming and that something had made me to look at her and had made me to continue to do so.
Presently, she was talking to some one with a lovely smile; she was looking directly into his eyes, had focussed totally on his face, as though excluding the rest of the world from that moment; she must have been sharing with him something interesting that had made him to smile broadly. In seconds, she had arranged cool drinks for him and had asked about his comforts. When she left him, I saw the dazed look on his face, a sort of pleasant drowsiness that had shown me that the thoughts of hers were still lingering on his mind, like the lingering fragrance from some one that had crossed his path.Charm and charisma! The words can never be defined completely; however the dictionaries may try to do so. I had just tried!
What attracts you to some one and what makes that some one as the centre of a party, meeting, at work and even in the family?
People who are genuinely interested in you
People, who are focused on you
People who make you to feel comfortable and special
People who treat you as an equal to them
People who make you to smile from the heart
People who are kind to you
People who are sympathetic, generous and are approachable
People who show respect to you and
People who make positive comments about you;
Those are the people you are attracted to and those are the people whom you think are charming and charismatic!
Like the others: Show an interest in people, make positive comments on them, make them to feel at ease, be g kind to them, show respect to them and spread smiles a mile and they will be yours. It does not even need a practice!
Listen to people: Most of the people don’t allow others to complete their sentence. They had to interfere, thereby creating irritation and discomfort for the other person. Listen; is it such a complicated thing to do so? By listening to the others, you help in boosting their self respect and confidence levels.
Show self confidence: When you walk through the doors people should respond to your positive vibes involuntarily. Maintain a straight posture, keep your handshake firm and meet the others in the eyes. Introduce yourself clearly by name.
When Oprah enters the stage in the Oprah Winfrey talk show; when Nelson Mandela gets up to speak on any platform, when you look at the dazzling blue eyes of Paul Newman and the emotion filled face of Meryl Streep; they are charming and you are charmed!
Their charisma is mysterious in a certain way, lingering on your hearts even after they leave the stage or when the film is over, whatever the case may be! Their confidence levels are so high that you tend to love them, clearing a space in your hearts for them to stay there forever!
Show an enormous self confidence and claim the stage as your own!
Engage people in good conversation: Knowledge about the current affairs, present political and economic scenario helps. Speak with conviction. Be sure in what you want to convey.
People love themselves. Show interest to learn about them.
Q. I am a young woman. Though I would like to be charming in the party circles and would like to be quite popular, I am unable to overcome my introvert nature. How should I go about it?
Like any other art, charming is an art and a talent that can be developed easily and being charismatic is at the ripening end of being a charming woman.
Always talk about the others and not about yourself to them. Listen to what they have to say carefully with a nice smile. Compliment people and they would love you just for that. Carry your self confidence just like you carry your bag and accessories. Treat people as equivalent to you and be ready to tell little and interesting stories to people. When you meet some one at the next time, remember to compliment them by calling their name.
Finally, don’t go overboard on anything. Being a woman set your limits and be watchful for people’s body language. If you feel uncomfortable around some one, especially with strangers and in parties, clear out of that place.
When the rocket science is an acquired science, surely learning to charm others or being charismatic in your approach, should not be a big problem. Practice and you will become one!